Five

It’s a constant, never ending battle; a brutal war between remembering and forgetting.

It comes in waves; same days I’m floating on the surface embracing the calm–other days I’m too weak to keep my head above the tide.

Tonight I am drowning in the waves of my own silent hell.

Tonight I am dancing at rock bottom with my demons, cradled in their relentless grip.

There’s one. There’s two. There’s three. There’s four. No–there’s five.

One. Two. Three. Four. Five.

Flashbacks.

Nightmares.

Physical pain.

Mental anguish.

Emotional distress.

Relentless burden.

Victim and survivor.

Tonight I am drowning, I can’t find the strength to fight for air.

Tonight I am spiraling down, down, down.

One. Two. Three. Four. Five.

#metoo